How does it feel to be broken physically and emotionally? When the easiest way out is to “set yourself free”? But is it worth it? Is it worth leaving all the people we love behind to pick up the pieces? Joy Harjo wrote a poem called “The Woman Hanging from the Thirteenth Floor Window” about a woman hanging from her 13th floor window trying to decide whether she should commit suicide or not. She is weighing the good things and bad things in her life as she tries to make the decision. There is a significant amount of pain and suffering in every sentence. The emotion in the poem is immense! I understand every line in her poem because, in some ways, I have gone through somewhat of the same situations. Sometimes it’s easier to let go of life than to fight hard for a better life, but is it worth it? I know that in my situation right now, giving up would never be an option.
I believe that the poem could relate to what Joy Harjo went through. Maybe this was her life in the past. She possibly pulled through the negative things and acquired a more optimistic mind-set to move on to be a better person and have a more blissful life. If this poem is about her, then she seems very broken and depressed. The “woman” seemed to be debating between life and death. What was her reasoning though? From the poem, we can tell she is Native American, poor, heartbroken, feels out of place, hears voices, and thinks she’s lost her beauty. Are those enough reasons to let go of the gift of life?
Being poor and trying to provide for three kids is not easy. I don’t have kids, but my baby brother is very expensive. Especially when babies are growing, they need more things than imaginable. One thing that surprised me about the poem is the line that said, “That's when she wants to have another child to hold onto in the night, to be able to fall back into dreams” (Harjo 1). If she is already poor, should that even come to mind? Obviously, her thinking is not in the right place. I think this poem is not only touching, but it brings many different emotions. Like the fact that she even considers having another child is frustrating to me. It’s very frustrating because she does not need another child if she is not financially stable. First, she needs to be able to provide for the children she already has and then she can consider having another one. I haven’t wanted to have kids yet because I KNOW I need to be financially stable and with a college career before I do have them. I don’t want to live the life that this woman is living and that’s the first thing I think about when I’m even a little bit compelled to become a mother. My mom was a single mother and had to work two and three jobs to be able to support me. We were financially stable all the time because my mom always worked hard to be able to provide for me. Life is not easy and sometimes we have to sacrifice some things, such as sleep and luxuries, to keep our heads above water, pay for our bills, and accomplish our goals.
The fact that she is Native American must be one of her main issues because “She thinks of the color of her skin, and of Chicago streets, and of waterfalls and pines” (Harjo 1). These are most likely the causes as to why she is being discriminated. This alone can make a person feel hopeless and it can make it difficult for anyone to be optimistic and work hard for what we want. I can understand what she feels like because I have felt it before. I’m a certified caregiver and I’m the youngest caregiver at my work. Although this is a different type of discrimination, it still hurts and it feels wrong to be degraded and unheard because of my age. Sometimes I also feel out of place because every caregiver is older than. Although some value my intelligence, others disregard the input I give because of my age. Some think I’m too young to really have an opinion. I believe that people who ignore my opinion because of my age are very close-minded, but I do understand that it’s not my fault and that this happens. I can’t help how old I am and the “woman” cannot help who she is either. She is Native American and there is nothing that can reverse that.
After having two husbands, she is emotionally broken, “She is several pieces between the two husbands” (Harjo 1). She probably feels like because she has been married twice and has three kids, she has lost her beauty and lost track of who she is and the things she likes to do. As young as I am, I married “the love of my life” when I was just 18 years of age. We never had any kids because we knew we had bigger priorities, but marriage alone took a toll on our lives. We both started gaining some weight and felt less attractive. Unfortunately, we were too young to know how to work things out and one day we just gave up on our relationship. We were losing track of who we were so we decided to go our separate ways and find ourselves. The first night I had to sleep by myself, not only did my bed feel empty, but so did my heart. I remember waking up every five to ten minutes throughout the night, thinking I had slept for hours. The second night was about the same, but the third night I decided to take some sleep aid. I was completely broken because he had become “my everything” and when I lost him over something insignificant, my life felt empty. The only thing I looked forward to was starting college and after crying about our separation for a week, I decided to add more credit hours to my already-busy school schedule to try to keep my mind busy and try to forget. I can’t imagine what this poor woman went through after two heartbreaks.
Considering the “woman’s” situation, it’s not easy to just decide to “set herself free” or not. “She thinks she remembers listening to her own life break loose, as she falls from the 13th floor window on the east side of Chicago, or as she climbs back up to claim herself again” (Harjo 1). She is broken but she needs to think about how it’s going to affect her loved ones too. We must not be selfish when even thinking about something like this. This poem really moved me because I have had some of the same hardships as well, but I know that it’s important to never give up. Someone once said, “One day, life will flash before our eyes. So let’s make it worth watching.”
Suicide Note-Why do it?
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